“Life is a mirror and will reflect back to the thinker what he thinks into it.” – Ernest Holmes
I wrote a poem as a teenager that was deep for me at the time, but even more profound as I have come to realize what it really meant and how even then, life was pointing me towards some deeper truth.
The poem was called Mirror Image.
I look in the mirror and through my eyes, I see what nobody else can see
I see through the laughter and all the fake smiles, into the lonely me
No one in the world knows my deep dark secrets, the ones that shall never be found
Nobody sees my by myself, where my outside cover falls down
Nobody sees how I sit and cry, how I feel so full of pain
Nobody knows how my broken heart aches while I’m searching for a love to claim
As I look even further, deeper in, I can feel the tears trickling down my cheeks
I feel my heart burning and then it starts screaming, as I feel myself getting weak
I pray to God to ease my pain, to fill my emptiness inside
To get me out of my gutter of a life, to give me some hope to try
I’m searching for a love to find, someone to hold me tight
Someone who can heal my aching heart, who will help me find my light.
~The Teenage Christine
It is amazing to look back through my teenager’s eyes and see the world how she saw it. But there was wisdom in her words that pointed to a deeper truth that she was waiting to discover.
What I saw back then looking in the mirror was a culmination of all the beliefs I had in my 15 year old mind and a deeper yearning for something more. The story of who I thought I was. The mask I wore for others, all the time knowing it was a lie. The projection of what I thought I needed to feel complete and to feel loved. The belief that the answer was somewhere out there, that there was someone who could give me what I didn’t have. The desire to heal and find my light.
As I have grown in my awareness, I realize the deeper meaning of Mirror Image. What I see and experience ‘out there’ is a mirror of what is in my mind and heart. The world is my mirror, and it is my projection of beliefs and stories that give meaning to what I experience ‘out there’.
Some masters say, “There is no out there”. That this experience of life is all our projection. That we are dreaming all the time.
When I first read “The Four Agreements”, by don Miguel Ruiz, it was those exact words “We are dreaming all the time”, that resonated with me so deeply and started me on this journey of awakening.
And the more that I began to shift my story and beliefs, the more the outside dream began to shift. My experience shifted with my mind. The more centered and open-hearted I was, the more effortless life seemed to flow. The more triggered and reactive I was, the more I seemed to come across the very things that triggered me (people cutting me off, delays, rude people, etc.). If the world we experience, is in fact a mirror, then what is it that the mirror is showing me about myself?
The law of attraction states that like attracts like. But if there is really no ‘out there’, then there is nothing to attract. And if there is only one consciousness that experiences duality, then what we experience is merely our projection of beliefs, stories, fears, etc.
In my poem, I was looking out there for the answers, not realizing the answer was within me all along. I was in pain, not yet realizing that it was my STORY that gave me the experience of pain. I prayed to God out there, not realizing the God within me was listening. I was looking for someone to help me find my light, not knowing that I am the light, and the one perceiving the light.
I couldn’t have known back then how the intent I expressed in that poem compelled me to embark on a journey to discover the truth, beyond the stories, beyond the one experiencing.
With awareness, I was able to recognize the beliefs and stories for what they were, a veil that distorted life as it truly is. By chipping away at the beliefs that kept me from seeing the mirror image from the distorted point of view, I was able to be more open to experience life in the moment, and as a result, life opened up as I did.
If life is a mirror, what is your life reflecting back to you? What beliefs or stories are you still allowing to distort your experience of life and of yourself?
If you are the dreamer, how can you begin to shift your experience of the dream?
As within, so is without…